It’s official. I’ve had enough now. I hope maybe it’s just a bad day; and after I sleep tonight; tomorrow it will be all better.
Maybe. Probably not though. Depression is not something I normally deal with; I’ve never had problems in the past. But this injury is getting the best of me. I’m tired of sitting around the house. I’m tired of people waiting on me hand and foot. I’m tired of *having* to be waited on. I can’t drive. Fixing lunch is still a big pain in the @$$. Apparently I’m wallowing in self pity now. (didn’t I just say a couple days ago I wouldn’t let myself do that?) I’m ready to be running again. I should be finishing up a semi-recovery week and starting back with thinking of the Run To Victory. I had a facebook comment that said (in good humor) “ok; take 3 weeks off; but we have a marathon to train for”. Oh how I wish I could. Reading a couple of blogs; it seems everyone is training for their next big race now. Everyone but me. GRRR. I honestly thought last night late/ a little while ago where’s my bottle of liquor. Because being drunk will fix it; right? (lol; imagine being drunk; with crutches; on loritab. wow. scary. better hide the bottle.)
Last night wasn’t a good night. (pre-requisite to story: I just about refuse to take the pain pills….I really worry about becoming addicted. I know too many people that don’t think they can function without them. I asked MD about it; he said milder pain killers are ok; just no tylenol; because of reactions with the loritab if i do take them. Aleve it is then; no problem. It’s my preferred drug anyway. I may have taken 3 or 4 loritab since the surgery) I woke up at 4am in terrible pain. I think I was tossing and turning in my sleep. So when I woke up; I took a loritab; knowing I had to visit the good doc today; I knew 1. I needed sleep and 2. I needed to not be in but so much pain; and went back to sleep; but this time on the couch. Needless to say; it wasn’t the optimal way to start my day.
So I went to the MD today. He said I’m recovering just fine; he took two more x-rays (are all these xray’s gonna give me cancer or something??!?) and said it looks like the bone it healing straight and properly. I finally got to see what was broken. Doesn’t look like much. (please note; IMG isn’t me; but my hardware looks nearly identical) He pulled the staples out; thank goodness. I was really really sick of them. No staples also means I can take a “normal” shower again.
Sidebar: how does one take a “normal” shower on a non-weight bearing leg; with crutches? saying I can take a shower was some cruel joke he was playing; I do believe.
I was hoping he would say physical therapy would start soon; so maybe I’d have a glimmer of hope to ditch these crutches sooner rather than later; but he said absolutely no weight or PT for a minimum of two more weeks until I go visit him again. I may be worried about nothing; but two more weeks puts me at nearly the 3 week marker….how will I ever make it back to work in 4-6 weeks with only 1-3 weeks of PT? I dont see it happening; which means I’ll be out longer. More time out=more depressing.
Went to dinner with Adah (my wife; for those that don’t know). You want to really feel like an out-of-place freak? Go to a “sit-down” restaurant on a set of crutches. It feels like the whole place is staring. I have a whole new respect for the elderly with walkers; as well as folks in wheel chairs; etc. I dont want to be the center of attention; at least not for using crutches. if I’m center of attention; I want it to be for something really interesting. Like maybe I’m walking around nude or something. But not for crutches.
Because this is a running blog; and because I just mentioned being nude; (not to mention I’ve been absolutely dying to “casually mention” this to EVERYONE I KNOW) I feel it necessary to make a plug for a race that the Danville Running Club used to do timing for (DRFC has since said “never again”… apparently there was some serious emotional scarring done). It’s called “Take Pride in Your Hide”… I’m not sure Its a race they’re still doing down in Reidsville NC; but its apparently part of a series. I would never have the guts to go thru with this. But info like this is impossible not to pass along. (all links ARE SAFE for work. just thought I’d mention; there are no….errr umm….race photo’s on the site’s I’m linking; lol)
One last mention before I say “until next time”— I did take a loritab before I started this post. I want to be able to sleep. I’m not going to proof read before I hit “publish”. If it’s incoherent or impossible to read; I apologize in advance. If it’s retarded; well; I guess I’ll see myself tomorrow. Or maybe I’ll wait for the comments to roll about how much mush my brain may be turning into. Either way.